PAPERS
Июль 1985 | Автор Ричард Стилго.


M. FIRMIN:
Box five!
Why do we never sell Box Five?
Whatever they say, now the theatre's doing so well,
Let the Opera Ghost go to hell!

M. ANDRE:
Here's a note,
signed by the Opera Ghost, I quote;
"Gentlemen, your theatre will never survive,
if you sell Box Five!"

M. FIRMIN:
Here's another note,
of the takings now,
I shouldn't like to gloat!
But the coverage,
We're getting in Le Monde...

BOTH:
Has been like a magic wand!

M. ANDRE:
Seen this yet, mein herr?
How did singer Kristin Daae disappear...

M. FIRMIN:
And Carlotta has her picture in a glass!

M. ANDRE:
And we're a cast!

M. FIRMIN:
With more supporting costs!

BOTH:
Papers!
Whenever we're in the papers,
It fills the theatre
Doesn't matter what we put on.

(Carlotta enters the room)

CARLOTTA:
Papers! What do they know, all these papers?
They say I'm injured!
Where do these people get their facts?
It's nothing but a scratch!

M. ANDRE:
Here we have a note...

M. FIRMIN:
Well she'd only hurt her ankle,
not her throat!

M. ANDRE:
That her voice is unaffected,
there's no doubt...

M. FIRMIN:
And the clinic let her out!
Release it to the press,
That Carlotta will be singing the Countess
Even though she has her ankle in a splint

M. ANDRE:
That's the sort of thing they'd print!

(they both laugh)

THE MANAGERS:
Papers!
Whenever we're in the papers,
It fills the theatre
Doesn't matter what we put on...

CARLOTTA:
Papers! What do they know of these papers?
They say I'm injured!
Today I won't be able to sing...

ALL:
They do not know a thing!

(Meg Giry enters the room)

MEG:
(spoken) Excuse me gentlemen...

M. ANDRE:
(spoken) Yes, what is it? We're busy!

MEG:
(spoken) I thought you'd want to know - Kristin Daae has come back.

M. ANDRE:
(spoken with relief) Kristin is alive!

M. FIRMIN:
Then it seems we can sell Box Five!

MEG:
And I was told to give you this...

(she hands M. Andre the note)

M. FIRMIN:
Is it from Miss Daae?

MEG:
(spoken) No - I was given it. I don't want to say! I don't know him!

M. ANDRE:
(spoken) Here we have a note...

M. FIRMIN:
Find out who it's from and what it is he wrote.

M. ANDRE:
(reading) "Gentlemen...I have now sent you several notes,
of the most amiable nature,
detailing how my theatre is to be run.
You have not followed my instructions.
I shall give you..."

M. ANDRE/THE PHANTOM:
(spoken) ...one last chance...

(The Phantom's voice echoes around the theatre)

THE PHANTOM:
Kristin Daae has returned to you,
And I am anxious her career shall progress.
In the new production of Don Nero,
you will therefore cast Carlotta as the pageboy,
And put Miss Daae in the role of Countess.

(spoken) I shall watch the performance from my normal seat in Box Five...

M. ANDRE:
(reading) "...which will be kept empty for me.
Should these commands be ignored,
A disaster beyond your imagination will occur.
I remain, Gentlemen...Opera Ghost.

M. FIRMIN:
(spoken with sarcasm) Opera Ghost!

CARLOTTA:
(spoken) Opera Ghost! Ha!
(singing) Paper!
They say it's nothing but paper!
I know who sent it!
Probably a friend of the toad!
Pageboy! You cast the toad as a pageboy!
That part is silent. I am taught to sing the Countess!

THE MANAGERS:
Yes, yes, Carlotta, yes.

(Raoul enters the room as Carlotta exits)

CARLOTTA:
Ha! It's the toads friend; the frog!

RAOUL:
I hear Kristin is back.

M. FIRMIN:
You should know!

M. ANDRE:
We thought that she was with you and the claque?

RAOUL:
(spoken) No...

M. FIRMIN:
So you didn't send this note?

RAOUL:
(spoken) No. Let me see it...

(he reads the note)

Will she sing?

M. ANDRE:
(spoken) She will appear in the Opera, monsieur.

RAOUL:
(spoken) I shall come!

M. FIRMIN:
(spoken) Alas - we're sold out!

M. ANDRE:
Box Five! Why don't we let him have Box Five?

RAOUL:
(spoken) Box Five it is then. Gentlemen, I bid you good day.

(Raoul leaves)

THE MANAGERS:
Box Five! The Ghost and he can share Box Five!

M. ANDRE:
There's still some room there...

M. FIRMIN:
I just thought of what we could do:
Put the critics in there too!
Papers!

THE MANAGERS:
It's bound to be in the papers!
Carlotta's starring, and we'll be the talk of the town
She'll bring the house down!